Retrospective, and inklings.
02:27 Dec 31 2007
Times Read: 789

NEW YEAR'S EVE HAPPY CAMPERS!!!!



Going out tonight - destination is The Wickham, yes kiddies it's PINK! Haha.



So I thought I'd have a think about what's happened the past year.



2007 wasn't the best of years for me.



Started off good.



In January, I was in a relationship, I was happy, exhilarated even. He was overseas, and I was going to visit him. At work, I was acting supervisor. Things were going well!



In February - left Australia and went to New Orleans to visit the boy, and Mardi Gras!!! Had a blast! Was in love! Loved New Orleans!!!



In March - sadly, returned home. Had a birthday. Worked. Didn't get a supervisor job.



In April - started getting warning signs on the relationship. He wanted a "break". Started getting moody. Was training my replacement in my supervisor job at work.



In May - things were getting worse on the relationship front. He wasn't talking to me any more. Felt devastated. Started putting on weight. Work was being soul destroying.



In June - he called it off for good. Went into emotional breakdown and became depressive. Joined this site looking for something to lift me up. Had a break from work due to stresses.



In July - same as above. Spent far, far too much time in here. Back at work. Doing supervisor role again.



In August - met another boy. Started coming out of it. Met fabulous people in here, who I love to death! (well, not literally). Started learning more about myself. Work continues. Embraced Eris (she started it). Met a new teacher.



In September - boy fucked me over too. Started realising I will never find love online, and that even if I did, I should stop going for younger guys. Wasn't as depressive this time though. Started talking to someone so lovely, so sweet. Work continues to drag me down. Teaching continues. Teaches some back, maybe.



In October - went for same job. Again, didn't get it. Resolved to quit work in 2008. Felt immensely better. Signed up for VR Meetup. Deaths and friends. Continuing learning. Didn't know I was capable of that.



In November - sweetness continues. She is my light, my everything. Nearly fucked myself over, by being stupid and trusting. Panicked. Received validation from the love and affection of others. Work is bearable because I know I'm leaving.



In December - am not as fucked as I thought. Don't care about work. Saving and planning for overseas trip. Blessed peace, and freedom. Road to discovery, metaphysically and emotionally. Expanded power...



And that's where we are today... it's been a bit of a ride, and I certainly haven't included all the little ups and downs, the things that seemed so important at the time but in retrospect, are really only bumps on the continuing path.



I'm so, so looking forward to 2008. It will be the start of a new journey for me. I'm embracing it with all senses and both arms wide open. I'm excited!







My card reading for 2008:

• meditation



• power



• insight



• intuition



• power



• signs



• enchantment
• 
  
  
• power



• guide

I was impressed ;) 2008 is going to be a fantastic year, I just know it!! ^^





Hope you all have a fantastic New Year and best of luck, love and laughter in 2008!!!!

Never learn. Never want to.
02:14 Dec 30 2007
Times Read: 792

30/12/2007 11:23:48 AM ***** Juwee hmm

30/12/2007 11:24:17 AM Juwee ***** will you stop saying that. it's really annoying.

30/12/2007 11:24:32 AM ***** Juwee god damn

30/12/2007 11:25:06 AM ***** Juwee fine.. i just wont message you.. I do it subconciously when i dont know what else to type...

30/12/2007 11:25:27 AM Juwee ***** well it sounds like you're making judgement. just say something else instead

30/12/2007 11:25:40 AM ***** Juwee i dont make judgement

30/12/2007 11:25:44 AM ***** Juwee hmm means nothing

30/12/2007 11:25:50 AM ***** Juwee its like "hmm" = thinking

30/12/2007 11:26:17 AM Juwee ***** actually you make a lot of judgements

30/12/2007 11:26:40 AM ***** Juwee sighs

30/12/2007 11:26:42 AM ***** Juwee I dont need this

30/12/2007 11:26:51 AM ***** Juwee I havent made any judgements on you

30/12/2007 11:27:02 AM ***** Juwee but seriously whatever

30/12/2007 11:27:21 AM Juwee ***** indeed

30/12/2007 11:27:39 AM ***** Juwee When

30/12/2007 11:27:45 AM Juwee ***** when what?

30/12/2007 11:31:49 AM ***** Juwee when did I make judgement?

30/12/2007 11:32:55 AM Juwee ***** several occasions

30/12/2007 11:33:06 AM Juwee ***** mostly to do with my sexual past

30/12/2007 11:42:16 AM ***** Juwee that was a long while back

30/12/2007 11:42:59 AM Juwee ***** to start off with, yes

30/12/2007 11:43:09 AM Juwee ***** does that make it any better?

30/12/2007 11:43:18 AM ***** Juwee no

30/12/2007 11:43:23 AM ***** Juwee and you know im sorry about that

30/12/2007 11:45:58 AM Juwee ***** the important thing is not that you're sorry about it. but to recognise that tendancy within yourself.

30/12/2007 12:02:43 PM ***** Juwee hmm







Don't ever judge me. That's all I can say. What you think you know, you don't. And probably never will.

10:12 Dec 28 2007
Times Read: 796

you can be better than this moment

This is purely for my own benefit...
11:28 Dec 27 2007
Times Read: 802

...recording of my awesome vampire game over MSN tonight ^^ (warning, uber long - 4 hour games will do that =P)





[02:18] Juwee: The moon rises, and the sun sets, each cosmic movement triggering a change in your slumbering awareness. Tendrils of thought coalesce and regain entry into your dreaming mind, bringing with them vague knowledge and portents of the city around you.

[02:18] Juwee: You wake, suppressing a long buried human instinct to yawn, and blink, trying to grasp the thoughts before they flee from your subconscious all together.

[02:18] Juwee: (roll for me)

[02:19] Markus: (can we do random number i have no dice)

[02:19] Juwee: um

[02:19] Juwee: can you get a dice roller off the net?

[02:19] Markus: hmm....a linux one?

[02:19] Juwee: i'm sure they're out there

[02:19] Juwee: lemme search

[02:20] Markus: gotcha

[02:20] Markus: its perception plus what?

[02:20] Markus: or just str8 perception?

[02:21] Juwee: straight perception for now

[02:21] Markus: okay

[02:21] Juwee: you find one?

[02:21] Markus: yea

[02:21] Juwee: ok good

[02:21] Markus: perception is 7

[02:22] Juwee: your thoughts concentrate on the perception of a tide of change in the city. you're not entirely sure who the change is for, or what, but you know it can be put of benefit to you

[02:22] Juwee: fully wakening, and already starting to plot what further you can find out, you arise for the night

[02:23] Juwee: tell me your normal waking rituals

[02:23] Markus: (Roll 1: 2, 9, 1, 9, 5, 5, 4 )

[02:23] Markus: deflection of wooden doom

[02:23] Juwee: anything else you wanna do?

[02:23] Markus: thats it

[02:24] Juwee: hokay.

[02:24] Markus: clothes come automatic willpower on waking

[02:24] Juwee: heh ok

[02:24] Markus: so its 9

[02:24] Juwee: how are we dressed tonight?

[02:24] Markus: same as every night

[02:24] Markus: black suit

[02:24] Markus: red tie

[02:24] Markus: gold ventrue wand on left collar

[02:24] Juwee: *nods*

[02:25] Juwee: you decide to go for a wander through the city. it's been too long since you've connected with the baser currents.

[02:25] Markus: *nods* goes out of my chambers and sets off down the street

[02:26] Juwee: the air seems to be more enlivened, or at least, lively

[02:26] Markus: auspex check on whats around

[02:27] Markus: auspex one is permanent

[02:27] Juwee: yep

[02:27] Juwee: checking

[02:27] Juwee: aura sense on?

[02:27] Markus: heightened senses

[02:28] Markus: always on

[02:28] Juwee: just that one?

[02:28] Markus: yea

[02:29] Juwee: with your superior senses you can tell that the masses of humanity are reacting far more discordantly to the new night than what you'd expect.

[02:29] Markus: perception plus altertness roll

[02:30] Juwee: people are mobbing together, and more than once already tonight you've passed darkened alleyways where you can hear the sounds of fists striking flesh, and the sweet drip of blood on cement

[02:30] Juwee: roll away, diff is 7

[02:30] Markus: minus the one being on?

[02:31] Juwee: yes

[02:31] Juwee: no

[02:31] Juwee: diff is 6

[02:31] Markus: damnit

[02:31] Markus: ...make that 10 successes

[02:31] Juwee: holy crap

[02:31] Juwee: lol

[02:31] Markus: 15 dice

[02:31] Juwee: lmfao

[02:31] Markus: :P

[02:31] Juwee: ok

[02:31] Juwee: with your 10 successes =P

[02:33] Juwee: you are not surprised when a group of 3 attractive, if hard worn hookers spill out of an open nightclub doorway and try to drag you into it. you're also not surprised by the look one of them gives to the bouncer at the door.

[02:33] Juwee: cars passing with their headlights are abnormally bright, and you squint. a screech of brakes makes you wince. fortunately, no accident ensues

[02:34] Markus: grumbles a bit

[02:34] Juwee: the first hooker rubs herself up and down you, while you feel hands freely roaming your back and down to your ass. all 3 of them are trying to nudge you into the club.

[02:35] Juwee: the bouncer looks you up and down, and licks his lips ever so slightly.

[02:35] Markus: *smiles innocently*

[02:35] Markus: *aura scan on him*

[02:35] Markus: you want me to roll?

[02:36] Juwee: yes hunni

[02:36] Juwee: perc + emp diff 8

[02:36] Juwee: 7 with heightened senses

[02:37] Markus: (Roll 1: 3, 5, 8, 9, 7, Roll 2: 1, 1, 6, 8, 5, Roll 3: 9, 8, 3, 8, 7 = 9 SUCCESSES)

[02:37] Juwee: >.>

[02:37] Juwee: lmao

[02:37] Markus: damn

[02:37] Markus: ...make it 6

[02:37] Juwee: dammit boy!

[02:37] Markus: forgot the one

[02:37] Markus: wha?

[02:37] Juwee: nothing

[02:38] Juwee: ok

[02:38] Markus: markus has been round the block

[02:38] Juwee: scanning the bouncer

[02:38] Juwee: you see a billowing aura, flashing rapidly through the following colours:

[02:39] Juwee: dark green, deep red, violet, a little bit of yellow, overlaid with purple

[02:40] Juwee: the colours swirl and mix and clash and repeat, but never in the same order

[02:40] Markus: seeks to know from his scanning *is it kine, is it vamp, does it have diablarie streaks, is it ghoul*

[02:40] Juwee: human

[02:40] Markus: so its just horney, continues to smile at the bouncer and tries to rub against him as I enter

[02:41] Juwee: as you do that, both the dark red and purple rise to the front

[02:41] Juwee: and you know he's watching you as you go past

[02:41] Markus: *kisses the air in his direction and is slid into the door*

[02:42] Juwee: a brief flash of dark lavender then he's gone

[02:42] Juwee: the 3 hookers pout watching the interplay, with various levels of pouty success

[02:42] Markus: *giggles to myself*

[02:43] Juwee: you walk into a dark, smoky, crowded room. the music is loud and pulsating. you can almost see the beats rippling through the thickened air.

[02:44] Juwee: people are dancing on the floor to the side, some almost frenziedly, with arms and legs and hair swinging, sweat dripping, and tripping and falling onto the floor.

[02:44] Juwee: some are staring at the lights and swaying with hypnotic smiles on their faces.

[02:44] Juwee: you see clearly the distinctive rythmic movements of human Lovemaking and hear the accompanying sounds

[02:45] Juwee: the three hookers continue their assault upon you. one of them (a brunette, the prettiest one) looks up at you and pouting begs you to buy her a drink

[02:46] Markus: *shakes my head no and sildes a finger up her leg between her legs*

[02:48] Juwee: she moves in closer and tries to rub herself back against you... sliding a hand over your chest and stomach and down further, looking up at you all the while. the other two back off and disappear into the crowd now you've made a choice

[02:48] Markus: *slids in for a kiss and down her neck, tasting of her sweet essence

[02:49] Juwee: she gasps and becomes pliant in your arms. her blood is thick and sweet. roll me willpower

[02:49] Markus: refilling of vitae lost from the nights adventures*

[02:49] Juwee: diff is 8

[02:50] Markus: (5, 6, 6, 1, 10, 10, 8, 7, 7, re rolling 1 10)

[02:50] Markus: (8)

[02:51] Markus: ( 8 )

[02:51] Juwee: ok. you find yourself hungered further by her blood... it's sweet and tingles on your tongue... it burns pleasantly and enlivingly going down your throat... it's been a while since you've tasted such intoxicating blood from a human.

[02:52] Juwee: you manage to hold yourself back from draining her dry.

[02:52] Juwee: roll me 1 d 10

[02:52] Markus: Roll 1: 8

[02:52] Juwee: you leave barely enough blood in her body for her to function (you take 8)

[02:53] Juwee: she collapses against you

[02:53] Markus: *giggles* silly ghoul

[02:53] Juwee: the barkeeper, who's keeping an eye on the ladies, notices

[02:54] Markus: *lets her fall and walks over to the bartender, aware from my senses that he is paying attention*

[02:54] Juwee: he backs up and reaches under the bar

[02:55] Markus: *smiles a toothy grin at him, now good sir, if you would be so kind, as to decist your movements so we may talk, there is reward in it for you, if you behave*

[02:56] Juwee: are you being ... compulsive about it? intimidating? or just saying it?

[02:56] Markus: just saying it

[02:56] Juwee: he looks at you... looks at the girl... keeps a hand under the bar and says "keep talking"

[02:57] Juwee: "and this better be good. she's my best earner"

[02:57] Markus: how much does she earn in a night?

[02:57] Markus: and please dont lie

[02:57] Juwee: he starts licking his lips and stops...

[02:58] Juwee: "at least $400 in a night"

[02:58] Juwee: on a good night, maybe $600

[02:58] Juwee: this said with a hint of pride

[02:58] Markus: *may i reach into my pocket?*

[02:58] Juwee: he nods warily

[02:58] Markus: *reaches into my left brest pocket and pulls out a stack of 100s

[02:58] Juwee: his eyes almost pop out

[02:58] Markus: makes it 10000

[02:59] Juwee: they pop out =P

[02:59] Markus: and leaves it on the bar

[02:59] Juwee: he looks at the money greedily... then up at you

[02:59] Markus: you will leave me be,

[02:59] Markus: you will tell me who is the owner of this establishment, and who claims this place as their haven

[02:59] Markus: and you will tell me who wanted me in here

[02:59] Juwee: he blinks

[02:59] Markus: if you do these things

[02:59] Markus: this is yours

[03:00] Juwee: roll me perception + alertness

[03:01] Markus: (Roll 1: 3, 8, 9, 1, 9

Roll 2: 5, 2, 3, 4, 6.

Roll 3: 5, 6, 2, 3, 6)

[03:02] Juwee: 2 successes

[03:02] Juwee: you sense him struggling

[03:02] Juwee: it's like, he wants to tell you, but can't

[03:02] Markus: ...notices

[03:03] Juwee: you're not sure if it's physical, or if he's being compelled, or if he just doesn't know but is greedy

[03:03] Markus: and makes a domination roll piling it into the one word command of speak.....so thats 7 automatic successes

[03:03] Markus: you want me to roll anyway?

[03:03] Juwee: yes

[03:03] Juwee: and your difficulty is 8

[03:04] Markus: (Roll 1: 10, 8, 10, 5, 2 = 35.

Roll 2: 7, 10, 10, 10, 1 = 38.

Roll 3: 3, 4, 8, 1, )

[03:04] Markus: Roll 1: 10, 1

[03:04] Juwee: >.> remind me not to let you play with my guys, haha

[03:04] Markus: ....

[03:04] Markus: hahaha....why?

[03:04] Juwee: there'd be a lynching

[03:04] Juwee: and you know. i like you =P

[03:04] Markus: of who?

[03:05] Juwee: of you! lol

[03:05] Markus: why>?

[03:05] Juwee: for getting all those 10's

[03:05] Juwee: anyhoo

[03:05] Markus: i like tens

[03:05] Markus: do you want me to re roll

[03:05] Juwee: no

[03:05] Juwee: it's good

[03:06] Juwee: he starts talking, the words dripping faster and faster out of his mouth so you have to lean in closer and strain to make them out quickly

[03:06] Markus: auspex 1, sinking 6 into it

[03:08] Juwee: "sorry sir there's a person who comes by every so often and i'm not sure if he owns the place but he sure ACTS like he owns the place, at least that's what we all think, we being the boys and me, i don't ask the girls what they think who gives a fuck what women think right ha ha ha fucking women only good on their backs making money right" he nudges you and winks "anyway this guy he comes by every

[03:09] Juwee: so often picks up the takings fucking bastard taking all my hard earned money you would NOT believe how fucking hard i work for this place i deserve a fucking payrise fucking cheap ass bastard and his friends, oh yeah he has friends, in suits, kinda like yours only not so good, you know the kind that you get from those higher quality chain stores, you know how they're all the same and they'll have

[03:10] Juwee: something wrong with the lining but that's ok coz they didn't cost all the much to start off with but they're still a decent suit, still don't look so bad, and it's a shame really suit wearing isn't as popular as it used to be, i remember my dad he had these great suits they were like armani or something probably worth a fucking FORTUNE now ha ha ha, jeez maybe i should dig up the old bastard and

[03:10] Juwee: get that suit back what do you reckon ha ha ha..."

[03:10] Juwee: etc etc

[03:11] Juwee: roll me perception + alertness, diff 7

[03:12] Markus: with heightened senses?

[03:12] Juwee: yes

[03:12] Juwee: including heightened senses

[03:12] Markus: ...Roll 1: 8, 4, 9, 8, 5 = 34.

Roll 2: 7, 8, 6, 5, 5 = 31.

Roll 3: 6, 2, 6, 6, 8 = 28.

[03:12] Juwee: >.> ok so i need 10's to surprise you with anything =P

[03:12] Markus: lmao

[03:13] Markus: yea

[03:13] Juwee: you are NOT surprised then as he brings his hands together, spilling a bottle of tequila all over the bar and onto your suit and the floor around you and him, and with a quick swiping movement pulls a lighter out from under the bar, flicks it, and tosses it into the alcohol

[03:14] Juwee: there's a massive foomp! and the bar goes up in flames

[03:14] Juwee: (evil dm grin)

[03:16] Markus: *groans*

[03:17] Juwee: damn, sorry, my msn crashed

[03:17] Juwee: i lost everything

[03:17] Juwee: what did you say?

[03:17] Markus: *groans*

[03:17] Markus: (im thinking just a min)

[03:17] Juwee: rotschreck check

[03:17] Markus: ...damnit

[03:17] Markus: but not being surprised by it, is str8 self control?

[03:18] Juwee: self control

[03:18] Markus: dificulty?

[03:18] Juwee: umm

[03:18] Juwee: diff 8 i think

[03:18] Juwee: you're on fire =P

[03:18] Markus: 10, 10, 10, 5, 7

[03:19] Juwee: jeebus save me >.> haha

[03:19] Markus: shall i re roll?

[03:19] Juwee: lol no

[03:19] Juwee: it's ok

[03:19] Markus: I am not amused

[03:19] Juwee: you step back smartly and put out the flames on yourself

[03:19] Juwee: the bartender continues to talk within the fire, his words getting more and more unintelligible

[03:20] Markus: no

[03:20] Juwee: there's a scream behind you and the dancers and patrons start to panic, trampling for the exit

[03:20] Markus: .....im sory

[03:20] Markus: ....as Markus stepst back he makes a manipulation plus occult roll

[03:20] Juwee: yep

[03:21] Markus: with 2 will power for automatic success

[03:21] Juwee: yep

[03:21] Markus: Roll 1: 10, 3, 7, 5, 2, 6, 3, 3 = 39.

Roll 2: 9, 10, 2, 10, 4, 3, 9, 5 = 52.

[03:21] Juwee: what are you doing?

[03:21] Markus: Roll 1: 10, 8, 5Roll 1: 10, 8, 5

[03:21] Markus: you will see

[03:21] Juwee: heh ok

[03:21] Juwee: go right ahead =P

[03:22] Markus: Roll 1: 6

[03:22] Juwee: oh btw when we're done can i get you to send me your log of this coz i lost it

[03:22] Markus: sure

[03:22] Juwee: ^^

[03:22] Markus: its dificulty 5 for the 3 perm success

[03:22] Juwee: ok

[03:24] Markus: 12 success

[03:24] Juwee: and what happens?

[03:24] Markus: for movement of the mind on the fire

[03:24] Markus: to the bar tender

[03:24] Juwee: ahh

[03:25] Markus: not only does he erupt into flames but he is hurled through the wall, at level 5 x 9ish successes

[03:25] Juwee: ow >.>

[03:25] Markus: so through any other building into probably the nearest gasstation

[03:25] Markus: setting it on fire

[03:25] Juwee: lol haha

[03:25] Juwee: *pets you* nice ^^

[03:26] Juwee: ok

[03:26] Markus: *grunts and walks off out of the bar with crowd and down the street*

[03:27] Juwee: the barkeeper explodes into writhing flames and is hurtled back, through the wall, destroying the shelves of alcohol which shatter and add to the maelstrom in front of you, and disappears

[03:27] Juwee: the crowd runs, panicking out of the bar. alarms start to go off, sprinklers belatedly come on.

[03:27] Juwee: perception + alertness roll pls ^^

[03:27] Juwee: diff 6

[03:28] Markus: Roll 1: 2, 7, 8, 6, 1 = 24.

Roll 2: 9, 4, 9, 6, 3 = 31.

Roll 3: 2, 9, 2, 6, 3

[03:28] Juwee: you notice in passing as you leave the club, the body of the hooker you drained being trampled by the crowd.

[03:28] Markus: *giggles*

[03:29] Juwee: you also notice your friend the bouncer running ahead of you in the midst of the crowd.

[03:30] Markus: haha

[03:31] Juwee: son of a bitch >.>

[03:31] Juwee: what did you say?

[03:33] Juwee: hunni?

[03:34] Markus: as my friend the bouncer runs ahead of me, i walk to him, waiting for him to calm down, when i reach him, my hand caresses his neck, and down his back pulling him close to me and drinking of his vitae to replinsh what was lost

[03:34] Juwee: o.O ok =P

[03:34] Juwee: you, can roll me will power

[03:34] Juwee: diff is the same as what it was for the girl (8 i think)

[03:35] Juwee: and then, you can roll me perception + alertness to see how many people saw you =P

[03:35] Juwee: his blood is as intoxicating as the hooker's, but more masculine and earthy

[03:36] Markus: since i manupulted him into yeilding to me, my will power goes up 1, since my actions in the club did what they did, to the effect i was aiming for, my will power remains up one, and since i handled the bar tender in my fashion my will power goes up 1

[03:36] Juwee: you want to drain him dry... either that, or keep him around so you can continue to feed

[03:36] Juwee: heh ok

[03:37] Markus: so for my will power 10, 1, 7, 7, 9, 2, 10, 2, 4, 4

[03:37] Juwee: uh huh

[03:38] Juwee: it's a struggle, but you manage to restrain yourself from draining him dry...

[03:38] Juwee: 1 d10 pls ^^

[03:38] Markus: Roll 1: 9

[03:38] Juwee: ok

[03:39] Juwee: you drain him almost to the point of death. his face (which you notice isn't so bad looking) is pasty white, his breathing is shallow and hitched, and his skin is clammy

[03:39] Juwee: and perception + alertness?

[03:39] Juwee: diff 6 with heightened senses

[03:39] Markus: Roll 1: 6, 7, 2, 7, 9 = 31.

Roll 2: 8, 2, 3, 9, 4 = 26.

Roll 3: 4, 3, 9, 5, 6 = 27.

[03:40] Markus: 8?

[03:40] Juwee: yep

[03:40] Juwee: you notice, with a quick glance around, no less than 8 horrified onlookers watching you... some have started to back away in disbelief, one lady has screamed and fainted

[03:41] Juwee: have you still got your aura sense still up?

[03:41] Markus: yes

[03:42] Juwee: ok the bartender's aura, is ugly orange and purple, mottled together, and fading

[03:43] Markus: *groans and kicks the corpse with 2 potence into the nearest wall, fucking nosferatu*

[03:43] Juwee: the aura's of the 8 people who spotted you are blazing orange

[03:43] Juwee: lol

[03:44] Juwee: the onlookers scream and start fleeing. as they run people turn around to look, see the body crushed into the wall, and start screaming as well

[03:44] Markus: *starts laughing and (rolling manipulation plus empathy)

[03:44] Juwee: lol ok ^^

[03:45] Markus: Roll 1: 6, 2, 3, 9, 9 = 29.

Roll 2: 3, 6, 7, 10, 6 = 32.

Roll 3: 1, 10, 9, 9, 8

[03:45] Markus: normal dif 6

[03:45] Juwee: and what are you doing?

[03:45] Markus: preseance level 8

[03:46] Markus: invoke frenzy

[03:46] Juwee: *claps hands and huggles you* that's fantastic! hehe

[03:46] Markus: *huggles you back*

[03:46] Markus: 'shouting at the top of my lungs at the fearing crowd

[03:47] Markus: come out come out where ever you are

[03:47] Juwee: will that work on people?

[03:47] Markus: yes

[03:47] Juwee: lovely

[03:48] Juwee: lemme roll

[03:48] Markus: haha

[03:48] Markus: im sorry hun

[03:48] Markus: lemme correct myself before you rol

[03:49] Juwee: ok

[03:49] Markus: its still presence

[03:49] Juwee: yep

[03:49] Markus: its level 6

[03:49] Markus: dif 8

[03:49] Markus: i need to re roll for mani plus subterfuge

[03:49] Juwee: enrage?

[03:49] Markus: yea

[03:50] Juwee: okies go right ahead

[03:50] Markus: oh, droping will power into it, for one success

[03:50] Markus: so im at 9 will

[03:50] Juwee: yep

[03:50] Markus: makes he dif 7

[03:50] Markus: Roll 1: 8, 5, 6, 8, 10, 2, 1 = 40.

Roll 2: 1, 10, 9, 4, 2, 5, 3

[03:51] Juwee: 3 successes?

[03:51] Markus: Roll 1: 10

[03:51] Juwee: 4 successes

[03:51] Markus: Roll 1: 7

[03:51] Juwee: lol

[03:51] Juwee: 5 =P

[03:51] Juwee: ok

[03:52] Markus: http://www.patman.org/wod/disciplines/presence.asp

[03:52] Juwee: everyone in the vicinity

[03:52] Markus: yup

[03:52] Juwee: i had that open ;)

[03:52] Markus: lmao

[03:52] Juwee: teehee!

[03:52] Juwee: ok

[03:52] Markus: oops

[03:52] Juwee: you have 35 people in your immediate vicinity

[03:53] Juwee: each of them is now in the grip of the most violent rage they have ever experienced

[03:53] Markus: (rolling again - intel plus stealth)

[03:53] Juwee: 20 of the 35 turn around and spot you, laughing, and that pisses them off, so they move in towards you threateningly

[03:54] Juwee: the other 15 turn to beating each other and themselves up

[03:54] Markus: (Roll 1: 10, 10, 3, 9, 5, 7, 6, 8 = 58.

Roll 2: 5, 5, 10, 4, 5, 2, 8, 10 )

[03:54] Markus: dif is 6

[03:54] Juwee: and we're doing what?

[03:54] Markus: so if you want i can re roll ten

[03:55] Markus: we are shadow stepping from the ground alley, onto the roof stareing down at this mess

[03:55] Juwee: ooo

[03:55] Markus: so they maul eachother

[03:55] Juwee: yeppers

[03:55] Juwee: they run into the space where you were

[03:55] Juwee: only to find nothing.

[03:56] Juwee: they're confused momentarily, then snarl and turn to each other

[03:56] Juwee: from your vantage point it looks delicious, humans beating each other to bloody pulps

[03:56] Juwee: you can almost taste the spray of blood in the air

[03:56] Markus: - regains willpower for insiting a riot, and causing so much carnage, so back to 10

[03:56] Juwee: rofl

[03:57] Juwee: *pets*

[03:57] Juwee: perception + alertness pls ^^

[03:57] Juwee: diff 6

[03:57] Markus: Roll 1: 1, 10, 8, 7, 2 = 28.

Roll 2: 3, 2, 8, 6, 3 = 22.

Roll 3: 7, 8, 7, 4, 2

[03:57] Markus: 7?

[03:57] Juwee: yep

[03:58] Juwee: you enjoy the spectacle for a bit, cheering at a particularly vicious groinal kick delivered by a little old lady, when you hear the sounds of sirens approaching from the north.

[03:59] Markus: *leaves the area*

[03:59] Juwee: where are we going?

[04:00] Markus: *snickering to myself, opening the door on the roof and going down the building leaving from the back door of the building in the same general direction, away from the sirens

[04:00] Juwee: door's locked

[04:00] Markus: potence

[04:00] Juwee: door's no longer a problem =P

[04:00] Juwee: subtlety's not your thing, is it =P

[04:01] Markus: it can be

[04:01] Markus: i was just annoyed by the whores

[04:01] Juwee: haha ok

[04:01] Juwee: =P

[04:01] Markus: besides, when the cops show up,

[04:01] Markus: all it is, is a bar fight

[04:01] Juwee: street fight actually

[04:02] Juwee: but yeah

[04:02] Markus: with some gas explosion to have launched the bar tender through several layers of concrete

[04:02] Juwee: hehe

[04:02] Markus: when I am 3 blocks away, rolling mani + occult

[04:02] Juwee: yep

[04:02] Juwee: surprisingly enough, the streets immediately surrounding here are pretty much deserted

[04:03] Juwee: what people you catch a glimpse of are running towards the commotion

[04:03] Markus: Roll 1: 2, 1, 10, 10, 10, 10, 1, 5, 8 = 57.

Roll 2: 9, 10, 7, 7, 8, 8, 4, 10, 8

[04:03] Markus: Roll 1: 6.

[04:04] Juwee: for?

[04:04] Markus: (creo ignum level five to erupt on the bar in the building) supporting the notion that it was in fact a gas line

[04:05] Juwee: what's your difficulty on that?

[04:06] Markus: 8 minus 2 will power to the difuculty rating

[04:06] Juwee: ok

[04:06] Markus: need i re roll 10s?

[04:07] Juwee: haha no =P

[04:07] Markus: okay then

[04:07] Markus: *markus continues to walk down the street*

[04:09] Juwee: there's a resounding boom as the entire building explodes, lighting up the night sky causing you to become blinded for 4 turns, a shockwave of heated air pushes out, knocking trees over and setting them on fire, exploding windows and spraying shards of glass everywhere. nearby cars catch on fire and explode, setting alarms off all up and down the street. people start screaming and wailing, and the

[04:09] Juwee: sounds of sirens momentarily stops, before being redoubled in the distance.

[04:09] Markus: laughs

[04:09] Markus: and sits in the shadows

[04:10] Juwee: *jumps and huggles you* whee! lol

[04:10] Juwee: ok

[04:10] Juwee: waiting for your eyesight to return?

[04:11] Markus: yup

[04:11] Juwee: after a bit you blink, and your vision starts to clear

[04:12] Juwee: the street is full of panicked humans milling around, asking each other questions in shrill voices

[04:12] Juwee: the sound is annoying

[04:12] Juwee: sets your teeth on edge

[04:12] Markus: *groans*

[04:13] Markus: *gets up, and starts making my way further into town

[04:13] Juwee: from above you a small child starts screaming in that horrible small child fashion

[04:13] Markus: perception plus alertness to see what its screaming at

[04:14] Juwee: roll me

[04:14] Juwee: diff is 8

[04:14] Markus: oll 1: 5, 10, 6, 9, 5 = 35.

Roll 2: 2, 1, 3, 9, 4 = 19.

Roll 3: 4, 3, 7, 3, 10

[04:15] Juwee: you wanna reroll those 10s?

[04:15] Markus: Roll 1: 9

[04:15] Juwee: ok

[04:17] Juwee: 4 successes, you managed to turn around swiftly enough to catch a figure moving behind an open window and curtain. it's the same room the screaming child is in.

[04:18] Juwee: the screaming rises in intensity, as the child is obviously becoming more panick stricken

[04:18] Juwee: brb bathroom break =P

[04:18] Markus: k

[04:20] Markus: (oh i found the means by which azuric made sasha and urick - Level 9 • Dual Form



The vampire may split into two weaker versions of herself, unless one of her attributes is at zero. For each new replicant, all attributes are reduced by one, and blood pool and the amount of blood that can be spent are each halved. Unless the character has the appropriate Auspex powers, there is no communication between them beyond intuition. The two characters may reunite by touching, but this is quite nauseating for others to watch.



)

[04:21] Juwee: haha i bet it is

[04:21] Markus: anyway

[04:22] Markus: i continue to watch what goes on with this child(

[04:22] Juwee: the child continues screaming, getting louder

[04:22] Juwee: you notice people around you looking in annoyance up at the open window

[04:22] Juwee: a shadow moves behind the curtain again. you can't make out a form.

[04:25] Markus: (Roll 1: 4, 7, 3, 10, 8, 8, 6, 10 = 56.

Roll 2: 5, 8, 6, 3, 2, 6, 3, 8 )

[04:25] Juwee: for?

[04:25] Markus: Roll 1: 7, 5 Roll 1: 7, 5

[04:25] Markus: dif six

[04:25] Markus: shadow step through his shadow into the room

[04:25] Juwee: oo interesting

[04:25] Juwee: alrighty

[04:26] Markus: as the shadow parts

[04:26] Markus: *am i interupting anything?

[04:26] Juwee: perception + awareness pls ^^

[04:27] Juwee: um alertness

[04:27] Juwee: not awareness

[04:27] Markus: was gonna say

[04:27] Juwee: thinking exalted haha

[04:27] Markus: Roll 1: 9, 5, 9, 5, 1 = 29.

Roll 2: 7, 5, 9, 9, 6 = 36.

Roll 3: 1, 7, 4, 6, 9

[04:27] Juwee: diff is 6

[04:27] Markus: 7

[04:28] Juwee: ok

[04:29] Juwee: the room is high ceilinged, and painted in white and blue, except for the splashes of blood over the wall nearest the door

[04:29] Juwee: the child in the cot is panicked and screaming, eyes wide open in fear, covered in blood itself

[04:30] Juwee: in the corner to the left of the door is a mangled body of a woman, you'd guess it to be the child's mother

[04:31] Juwee: leaning menacingly over the cot is a darkened figure, you can glimpse red bestial eyes glaring at you. blood drips from it, it's rank and unkempt

[04:31] Markus: oh my dear mut, please continue your massacare

[04:32] Juwee: it growls ferrally at you and aborts a charge in your direction

[04:32] Markus: does it really?

[04:32] Juwee: yes

[04:32] Juwee: abort meaning, stops

[04:33] Markus: maipulation + brawl + 2 will power

[04:33] Juwee: yep

[04:33] Juwee: what are we doing?

[04:33] Markus: we are showing you what kenetisim does

[04:33] Markus: as we sad

[04:33] Markus: said markus is catiff, so

[04:34] Markus: that actives on Roll 1: 3, 4, 6, 6, 7, 9, 8, 7, 5 = 55.

Roll 2: 2, 4, 2, 8, 9, 2, 4, 7, 6

[04:34] Markus: dif 6 with will power

[04:34] Markus: kenetism 5

[04:34] Markus: kenetic shield

[04:34] Markus: blows beast boy back up against a wall

[04:34] Markus: until i spend a will power to take it down

[04:34] Juwee: lol

[04:34] Juwee: ok

[04:34] Juwee: no resistance?

[04:35] Markus: you know, your right

[04:35] Markus: lets us be a dick

[04:35] Markus: all 8 potence goes into increasing its successes

[04:35] Juwee: rofl

[04:36] Markus: so unless....18 fortitdue

[04:36] Markus: ...its not coming near me

[04:36] Juwee: um, no =P

[04:36] Juwee: funny that

[04:37] Markus: haha

[04:37] Markus: i said continue with your feast mutt

[04:37] Juwee: ugh gimme a sec, mum just came online and wants to bitch at me

[04:37] Markus: for what?

[04:38] Juwee: take your pick. being lazy, not watering the plants. *shrugs*

[04:38] Markus: ....*giggles* its okay, shes not home

[04:38] Markus: have another glass

[04:38] Juwee: i'm out of port =(

[04:38] Markus: brandy mixes well

[04:39] Juwee: true

[04:39] Markus: so have some brandy on the rocks, and minize her screen

[04:39] Markus: and lets get back to game

[04:39] Markus: she asks you later why you stopped tresponding, some mormons came to the door and wouldn't leave you alone

[04:40] Juwee: rofl

[04:40] Markus: so how do you like the way I play markus?

[04:40] Juwee: i lubs him ^^

[04:40] Markus: haha

[04:41] Juwee: i can even imagine him giggling =)

[04:41] Markus: and everything he does, technically doesn't violate the masquerade

[04:41] Markus: because it can all be defined by circumstance

[04:41] Markus: ...the bar blowing apart - leaky gas main

[04:41] Juwee: yah

[04:41] Markus: the riot

[04:41] Markus: ..bar fight out fo control

[04:41] Juwee: that and, no one left alive =P

[04:41] Markus: exactly

[04:41] Markus: even with auspex you would have to get 10 10s

[04:42] Juwee: yah

[04:42] Markus: because of the nature of how it was done

[04:42] Markus: all they know is that people were angry

[04:42] Juwee: yep

[04:42] Markus: and with 35 angry people

[04:42] Markus: ...you dont know the source :)

[04:42] Markus: so shit dont work

[04:42] Juwee: yep! lol

[04:43] Markus: im curious to see what your going to do with this gangrel nos you have pitted me against though

[04:43] Juwee: oh?

[04:43] Juwee: (evil dm grin)

[04:44] Markus: haha ((smiles the evil power gamer smile) thats what i like to see

[04:44] Markus: lets get it on

[04:44] Juwee: alright let me refill

[04:44] Markus: do i need another drink?

[04:45] Juwee: sure =)

[04:45] Markus: okay

[04:47] Markus: ]back

[04:47] Juwee: wb =)

[04:47] Markus: ty

[04:47] Juwee: i got something to eat too

[04:47] Markus: you too

[04:47] Markus: same

[04:47] Markus: haha

[04:47] Juwee: haha

[04:48] Markus: wha you munchin?

[04:48] Juwee: potato salad

[04:48] Juwee: you?

[04:48] Markus: macaroni salad

[04:48] Juwee: haha

[04:48] Juwee: go the salads =P

[04:48] Markus: woot

[04:48] Markus: for tossed salad

[04:49] Juwee: mmhmm

[04:49] Juwee: ok

[04:49] Markus: so

[04:49] Markus: beast boy started to charge at me

[04:49] Juwee: so

[04:50] Juwee: it started, and stopped, and then you flung your shield at it, and now it's pinned to the wall, growling and struggling impotently

[04:50] Juwee: the child continues to scream

[04:50] Markus: (outside of game question-

[04:50] Markus: is this npc important?

[04:51] Juwee: nope

[04:51] Markus: thats what i figured

[04:51] Juwee: but it could be =P

[04:51] Markus: *please note for game sake

[04:51] Markus: that those 18 successes

[04:51] Juwee: you've squished it, haven't you?

[04:52] Markus: go for kenetism 8

[04:52] Markus: ....its the same as levenbolt level 5

[04:53] Markus: only one arch of lightning, and its ag cant be soaked

[04:53] Juwee: ugh, ok

[04:53] Markus: sorry

[04:53] Juwee: lol

[04:53] Markus: i had to go over what would markus really do

[04:53] Juwee: how much did you hurt my npc for?

[04:53] Markus: 18 ag

[04:53] Juwee: *jaw drops*

[04:54] Juwee: can't be soaked by anything?

[04:54] Markus: ....nope

[04:54] Juwee: fuck me dead

[04:54] Markus: ....i did mention markus has killed 3 antidilivians right?

[04:54] Juwee: >.>

[04:54] Markus: alone

[04:54] Juwee: trigger happy

[04:54] Juwee: ok

[04:55] Juwee: it crumbles to dust in front of you

[04:55] Markus: when something comes at him, he is used to things that dont die when you hit them with that much power

[04:55] Juwee: the child continues screaming

[04:55] Juwee: s'ok *pats*

[04:55] Juwee: ooo perception + alertness

[04:55] Markus: (wouldnt the child be defened by the crack of lightning that just erupted from a shadow in the room?

[04:56] Markus: thus muting the screaming infant

[04:56] Juwee: it can still scream

[04:56] Juwee: it just can't hear itself

[04:56] Markus: okay

[04:56] Juwee: which panics it even more

[04:56] Juwee: =P

[04:56] Markus: ll 1: 2, 4, 10, 8, 5 = 29.

Roll 2: 10, 9, 10, 3, 8 = 40.

Roll 3: 4, 3, 2, 1, 2

[04:56] Markus: do i need reroll 10s

[04:56] Juwee: nah

[04:57] Juwee: you hear a faint "clink" and an old fashioned message tube, pure silver and ornately scrolled, drops to the floor from the dust of the beasty thing

[04:58] Juwee: it's more than a little battered. actually it looks like a truck just ran over it.

[04:58] Juwee: and then it got dropped in a microwave for a bit

[04:58] Markus: is that my fault?

[04:58] Juwee: lol does it matter =P

[04:58] Markus: yes

[04:58] Juwee: well yes

[04:58] Juwee: you can tell the new bashings because they've taken off some of the patina

[04:58] Markus: Roll 1: 8, 5, 7, 6, 9

[04:58] Juwee: so the flattened bit it more shiny than the rest of it

[04:58] Markus: self control roll

[04:59] Juwee: ooo what for?

[04:59] Markus: to keep from busting into hysterics over the current events of the evening

[04:59] Juwee: lol

[04:59] Juwee: ok

[04:59] Markus: dif 8

[04:59] Juwee: 2 succeses =P

[04:59] Markus: so laughing loudly he walks over and opens it

[04:59] Juwee: it's a bit of a struggle to open it up, but you get it open

[05:00] Juwee: the lid pops off

[05:00] Juwee: with, well a "pop" lol

[05:00] Markus: a bloody tear from laughter rolls down his cheek

[05:00] Juwee: inside the scroll case is a parchment

[05:00] Juwee: it looks old

[05:00] Markus: unrolls it and goes to read it

[05:01] Markus: you gonna make me roll?

[05:01] Juwee: no

[05:01] Markus: thank god

[05:01] Markus: 20 fkin dice

[05:01] Juwee: written on the parchment in what looks like blood (you can roll to find out more about the blood if you want) you see a verse

[05:02] Juwee: written in beautifully calligraphed handwriting

[05:02] Juwee: now don't ask me for the verse coz i haven't made it up yet >.> lol

[05:03] Markus: thats fine

[05:03] Markus: rolls str8 perception on the ink

[05:03] Juwee: yeppers

[05:03] Juwee: go for it

[05:03] Markus: Roll 1: 3, 9, 8, 6, 4, 8, 5, 2, 8

[05:04] Juwee: 4?

[05:04] Juwee: looks good

[05:04] Markus: sure

[05:04] Markus: lets toss in empathy too

[05:04] Juwee: sure

[05:04] Juwee: hehe

[05:04] Markus: 8, 4, 6, 4, 7, 10, 2

[05:04] Juwee: have you got spirit's touch? *flutters eyelashes*

[05:04] Markus: which one is that?

[05:05] Juwee: ah auspex 3 i think

[05:05] Markus: o.O with auspex 9

[05:05] Markus: yea

[05:05] Juwee: sorry

[05:05] Markus: ts cool

[05:05] Markus: thats more successes

[05:05] Juwee: some ppl opt out of that one and replace it with something else

[05:06] Markus: --- adds into it can tell who wrote it

[05:06] Markus: or at least they clan they were from, their generation, and what their feeding preference is

[05:06] Juwee: spirits touch, gimme perception + empathy, diff is 9

[05:07] Markus: even with heightned senses on?

[05:07] Juwee: even with heightened senses on

[05:07] Markus: Roll 1: 10, 8, 5, 3, 8, 8, 9, 3 = 54.

Roll 2: 8, 8, 5, 5, 10, 3, 1, 6

[05:08] Markus: Roll 1: 9

[05:09] Markus: (( i love this dice roller tonight))

[05:09] Juwee: lol yeah >.> haha

[05:09] Juwee: so 3 successes?

[05:09] Markus: yea

[05:09] Juwee: will power roll pls

[05:09] Juwee: diff is 9 again

[05:09] Markus: ...

[05:09] Markus: damnit

[05:10] Markus: Roll 1: 2, 6, 4, 5, 9, 9, 7, 4, 9

[05:10] Markus: ...

[05:10] Juwee: ffs

[05:10] Juwee: *slaps*

[05:10] Markus: it was a malk what wrote it

[05:10] Juwee: *looks innocent*

[05:10] Markus: 8scowels

[05:11] Markus: voice of madness through words

[05:11] Markus: a ritual like the writings of malkav

[05:11] Juwee: =D

[05:11] Markus: makes anyoen what reads it go insane

[05:12] Juwee: you feel, brushing against your conciousness, the gripping, sucking darkness of total insanity

[05:12] Markus: >,.>

[05:43] Markus: ...they get possesed by the dominate on the girl

[05:43] Juwee: rofl

[05:43] Juwee: ok

[05:43] Markus: and they project on the malk network

[05:44] Markus: who ever is causing this shit, will burn like the titty bar. You have pissed off the wrong people, and your city will burn, your people will die, and your world will be anhilated in the fashion that best suits you filthy fucking malks

[05:44] Juwee: ooo

[05:45] Juwee: lol ok ;)

[05:45] Markus: Roll 1: 9, 7, 10, 3, 7, 8, 4 = 48.

Roll 2: 2, 10, 6, 2, 9, 9, 9

[05:46] Markus: Roll 1: 9, 9

[05:46] Juwee: yep

[05:46] Markus: dementation

[05:46] Juwee: you don't have dementation

[05:47] Markus: i dont

[05:47] Markus: but the malk does

[05:47] Juwee: haha

[05:47] Juwee: true

[05:47] Juwee: what is your possession doing?

[05:47] Markus: Level 7 • Wave of Insanity

[05:47] Markus: over the madness network

[05:47] Juwee: negatory

[05:48] Markus: ouch

[05:48] Juwee: he doesn't have that much dementation

[05:48] Juwee: he has level 6 - derange

[05:48] Markus: ...okay

[05:48] Markus: ouch

[05:49] Markus: wait

[05:49] Markus: he has level 6?

[05:49] Markus: perfect

[05:49] Juwee: yes

[05:49] Markus: he has level 7

[05:49] Markus: *blood of potency

[05:49] Markus: from markus

[05:49] Juwee: which does?

[05:50] Markus: thaum vitae level 3

[05:50] Markus: increases blood potency one gen

[05:50] Markus: or one dot

[05:50] Markus: so if you have level 6 you have level 7 for one round

[05:50] Juwee: ok

[05:50] Juwee: roll me for it

[05:51] Markus: alright

[05:51] Markus: since its level three

[05:51] Markus: he has 2 lower dif cause he has 5

[05:51] Juwee: yep

[05:51] Markus: his occult is 10

[05:51] Markus: intl is what?

[05:51] Markus: mani*

[05:51] Juwee: 9

[05:52] Markus: his thaum is 10, so that pours success into his 5

[05:52] Juwee: and survival is 6

[05:52] Markus: Roll 1: 4, 10, 8, 10, 6, 5, 9, 9, 10

[05:53] Markus: Roll 1: 2, 6, 2, 6, 3, 9, 3, 4, 9, 6 - occult

[05:53] Juwee: haha ok

[05:54] Markus: so yea

[05:54] Juwee: yep

[05:54] Juwee: you can dementate to your heart's content

[05:54] Markus: haha

[05:54] Markus: focus' the mind on the head malk

[05:54] Markus: and sends it all to him

[05:55] Markus: with a charge of thaum

[05:55] Markus: vitae level 5

[05:55] Markus: cauldron of blood, all you need to do is touch the person and they go foosh

[05:55] Markus: with malks, all you have to do is establish a connection

[05:55] Juwee: yep

[05:55] Markus: and you can project it in dominate in their minds

[05:56] Markus: and they can anhilate everyone

[05:56] Markus: conencted to the madness network in that region

[05:56] Markus: in great flaming glory

[05:56] Juwee: ll

[05:56] Juwee: lol

[05:56] Juwee: ok so. just on the head malk?

[05:56] Markus: yea

[05:57] Juwee: okely

[05:57] Markus: that way he cant soak it

[05:57] Juwee: s'ok ^^

[05:58] Juwee: from your link on the possessed malk you feel a backwash of heat, burning, fire and exultation, quickly over come by intense terror and a maniacal laugh that you could swear you hear over the night air...

[05:59] Markus: self control roll needed?

[05:59] Juwee: indeed

[05:59] Markus: Roll 1: 3, 10, 2, 3, 9

[05:59] Markus: only one success to keep from breaking out in laughter?

[05:59] Juwee: sufficient. you shrug it off

[05:59] Juwee: yah

[05:59] Juwee: and brush down the shoulders of your jacket

[06:00] Markus: lol

[06:00] Markus: *walks back into the house to see if that malk is still around*

[06:00] Juwee: it's there

[06:00] Juwee: fitting on the ground

[06:00] Juwee: as is the woman

[06:01] Markus: *walks out the front door*

[06:01] Juwee: the night is quiet, the sirens have stopped, the annoying human voices have thankfully dwindled

[06:01] Juwee: you grin and continue about your business

00:12 Dec 25 2007
Times Read: 802

Merry Christmas everyone!!!



Hope you all have a great day, however you celebrate it, and that Santa brings you all what your little hearts desire =)



I'm up at my brother's place right now so I'm sneaking on before anything starts to happen up here... so I won't be online much for the next few days.



Luckily we're having a lovely cool Christmas this year... unlicke the preceding couple of years where we boiled to death... ugh.







In other news I bought myself a Lifetime Membership yesterday morning, and logged on this morning to find myself with the Mark of the Prince!!!! o.O Wootage ;)







Anyhoo. Best be off. Love yas!!!!

I don't understand...
21:27 Dec 23 2007
Times Read: 806


https://www.vampirerave.com/message.php?message=465106



Her last message to me was last night... wishing me Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year... I read it this morning and then I read that forum thread, and now I'm in tears... Maybe I'm just overly emotional... But we talked about stuff, and she made fun of the fact that I worked for Telstra, and we shared our growing up in rural areas stories, and I anticipated many more...



I feel like I need to apologise, and I don't know why.



RIP hun. Sweet dreams.

Tedium on a Saturday afternoon
06:42 Dec 22 2007
Times Read: 810

I have a game of Exalted on tonight so I'm just waiting for my lift to show up... and bored. I'm so bored I reorganised my Favourites. How bored is that =P



I thought I'd have a hunt for a picture for my Exalted character, Iona. She's a freed gladiator, well over 6 feet tall, blonde and muscular as befits a winning gladiator. Her desire, after a lifetime spent in servitude, is to rule the world! She's recently found, with her new friends, her Manse which was destroyed in the previous age some several thousand years ago, and picked up some previous life memories when she did actually rule the world. So she's just picked up the Hearthstone and associated power and by god can she whack stuff hard now!!!



I've been hunting and hunting for pics to represent her, but all the female warrior type pictures I can find have scantily clad girly types with enormous boobs... and that's not what Iona is at all. She's big, and muscly, no boobs to speak of, in fact, if it wasn't for the fact that she has no boy bits, she'd be mistaken for a guy! You spend a lifetime in heavy armour, wielding heavy weapons, eating crappy food, and living behind bars when you're not bashing the shit out of some luckless fellow gladiator, and watch that girlish figure go to pot. She has scars all over, and has a fricken huge Reaper Daiklave for a weapon. She wears full armour, not little scraps of leather that barely manage to hold her nipples in place. She is, in fact, awesome to look upon (one of her caste abilities is to inspire fear and awe in everyone who beholds her).



Eh. I'll keep looking. There's bound to be something out there that fits Iona...



Having said that though, I did find a lovely collection of female warrior type pics, which I may be able to snaffle for future characters.

December 22nd is also...
05:10 Dec 21 2007
Times Read: 816

...Global Orgasm day.



Global Orgasm





Do your bit for world peace by making the world a happier place for a little bit.



December 22nd, 2007 at 06:08 Universal Time (GMT).



(In Brisbane, that's Saturday at 4.08pm)

I'm not a pagan per se, but...
02:33 Dec 21 2007
Times Read: 818

...let it be known that 22 December marks the festival of Litha.







Litha is also known variously as Midsummer, Alban Heruin, Alban Hefin, Sun Blessing, Gathering Day, Whit Sunday, Whitsuntide, Vestalia, the Feast of Epona, All-Couple's Day and (in an attempt by the Christians to hold on to their basically Pagan flock) St. John's Day. Living in Australia, you will all be well aware that we are currently in the middle of Summer and a long way from Winter, and can cheerfully accept that while you can enjoy Christmas for what it is (a mass amalgam of Pagan traditions) we are in fact not currently celebrating Yule.







Litha occurs on the Summer Solstice – when the Su reaches its highest point and we get the longest day of the year (and thus the shortest night). Until now the God and Goddess have ruled supreme, they have imposed their will upon the kingdom without challenge, but now a sombre figure makes his appearance. This is the beginning of the ancient pagan theme of the battle between the brothers; the light and dark kings now begin their conflict. The Dark king attempts to overpower the Queen; the child she bears represents the realm. They fight, light against dark, but at this time the sun is still at the height of his powers, and the King drives the challenger back. In his struggle, he overthrows the usurper, but is wounded, and his strength begins to decline. The light still rules supreme, but a shadow has fallen over the kingdom. The God and Goddess remain at the height of their power, yet a new force - darkness - is awakening in the world. It is still worth noting for those of you stuck in the Jedi mindset, that Dark is not by any means evil – nor is Light necessarily good. They are simply two different states of being.







Bonfires representing the Sun were lit to rouse love, purification, health, and fertility. Tradition has it that on this day the Little People could be seen more easily than at other times. It is believed that the veils between the worlds, (like at Samhain,) are thinnest and the spirits of the dead pass through freely. Tradition has it, that if you accidentally step on a St. Johns Wort flower on Midsummer night, you would be transported to the realm of the Fey.







This is a time of beauty, love, strength, energy, rejoicing in the warmth of the sun, and the promise of the fruitfulness to come. It seems a carefree time, yet the knowledge of life is the knowledge of death, and beauty is but transitory. Pagans celebrate life, but also acknowledge death.







Merry Litha!

13:59 Dec 20 2007
Times Read: 821

Alone
13:11 Dec 20 2007
Times Read: 824

You know what I think I'm missing the most right now is the touching.



I'm quite a touchy-feely person normally, to people I love. I'm not talking (just) sexual touching, but little things, like hugging or poking or grabbing. Stuff like that. One of the reasons I say *hugs* a lot in messages to people I like.



However, it's been a while since I've had the freedom to touch and be touched. And I'm really missing it tonight, for some reason. The lack of bodily contact is making me feel extraordinarily lonely tonight.



*sighs*

02:29 Dec 20 2007
Times Read: 826

blah blah blah... BORED...

THE BEST COMEBACK LINE for 2007
01:13 Dec 20 2007
Times Read: 829

For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an "Australian treasure!"



General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children.



Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this!



This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.







FEMALE INTERVIEWER:



So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?



GENERAL COSGROVE:



We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.



FEMALE INTERVIEWER:



Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?



GENERAL COSGROVE:



I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.



FEMALE INTERVIEWER:



Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?



GENERAL COSGROVE:



I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.



FEMALE INTERVIEWER:



But you're equipping them to become violent killers.



GENERAL COSGROVE:



Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?







The radio went silent and the interview ended.

Clean
15:58 Dec 19 2007
Times Read: 832

Dave Gahan's voice is pure sex I swear...

14:13 Dec 19 2007
Times Read: 834

Well I finally finshed updating my profile. I'll leave it like this for a bit I think. See how it goes =)

A Dragon Fairytale
11:37 Dec 19 2007
Times Read: 836

Once upon a time, on a wall in a little house in a country far away, there hung a beautiful paper dragon. It was carefully folded and looked almost lifelike. The dragon was painted the colors of the rainbow, and its tail was spread wide like the tail of a peacock.



Many years went by, and the people who lived in the house enjoyed the picture of the colorful dragon. People who came to visit the house stopped to see the brightly-colored dragon, but no one ever asked about where it had come from. A couple of times, someone took it down from the wall, only to put it on another wall in the little house, and arrange the tail slightly differently. Doing this, they felt a vibrant feeling of energy and of life. Something about holding the paper dragon made them feel free.



Once, a stranger on his journey passed by the house and happened to see the beautiful dragon hanging on the wall. Struck by its beauty, he stared closely at the dragon. Without asking permission, he lifted down the dragon from the wall. He hung it over his arm and went out into the yard. With skilled fingers he tied a string around the dragon's body and quickly went to an open place. As a breeze began, the stranger carefully let out the string and ran into the wind. Up the dragon lifted into the air and it soared high above like a kite. The dragon seemed to be pulling higher and higher into the air, almost as though it was flying.



The people who lived in the house came outside to watch the man with the dragon. They were surprised to see their beautiful paper dragon flying above them, brightly colored with its long tail flowing behind it. They began to think that, maybe, there was something about this dragon that they had not noticed before.



As the wind blew, the dragon happily danced in the air above. Without warning, the string broke, and the dragon flew higher and higher, further and further away from them. The people below squinted as they looked up at the brightly colored dragon. Suddenly the little paper dragon began growing; its paper wings stretched wide and long. Its paper body began to change and the small creature flew higher and higher. The people below looked in amazement as the dragon came to life and flew away. Turning to them, the stranger said, “Some things are just meant to be free.”

04:28 Dec 19 2007
Times Read: 839

Ya know, there are times when I particularly hate being single.

>.>
20:15 Dec 17 2007
Times Read: 848

So last night I was looking up visa requirements (instead of finishing updating my profile). And I found that I'm too old by 3 years for a working holiday visa.



Goddammit! Who the fuck says you can only have a working holiday up to the age of 30??? I know what young working holiday makers are like, we employ them all the time. They're useless! Gah...



So now, apart from the useless self recrimination stuff, I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do... I'm still going to resign. There's no question of that. I'm still going over there. Will I stay, however? That's the question.



If I can't get sponsorship, or win the DV lottery, I'll just have to marry someone =P



(meep)

Me
10:30 Dec 17 2007
Times Read: 855

en·nui (ŏn-wē', ŏn'wē) Pronunciation Key

n. Listlessness and dissatisfaction resulting from lack of interest; boredom: "The servants relieved their ennui with gambling and gossip about their masters" (John Barth).





[French, from Old French enui, from ennuyer, to annoy, bore; see annoy.]





Word History: Were they alive today, users of Classical Latin might be surprised to find that centuries later a phrase of theirs still survives, although as a single word. The phrase mihi in odiō est (literally translated as "to me in a condition of dislike or hatred is"), meaning "I hate or dislike," gave rise to the Vulgar Latin verb *inodiāre, "to make odious," the source of the Old French verb ennuyer or anoier, "to annoy, bore." This was borrowed into English by around 1275 as anoien, our annoy. From the Old French verb a noun meaning "worry, boredom" was derived, which became ennui in modern French. This noun, with the sense "boredom," was borrowed into English in the 18th century, perhaps filling a need in polite, cultivated society.





Synonyms: apathy, blahs, blues, dejection, depression, dissatisfaction, doldrums, dumps*, fatigue, ho hums*, languidness, languor, lassitude, listlessness, melancholy, sadness, satiety, spiritlessness, surfeit, tedium, weariness, yawn*



* = informal or slang

08:46 Dec 17 2007
Times Read: 856

I need to finish updating my profile, but I just can't find the energy >.>



Bah.



Oh well. Holidays start day after tomorrow!

13:03 Dec 16 2007
Times Read: 859

I've decided that when I get a tattoo (which I will, when I get over my needle phobia, and I have Jesse to hold my hand) I want a Quetzalcoatl.



And stars.



Dragons and stars. How more unearthly can you get???























I found a couatl:

I'd prefer the D&D Monster Manual one though... rainbow-y and beautiful... can't seem to find a picture though.

Dragons
12:34 Dec 16 2007
Times Read: 860

When the old mapmakers got to the edge of the world they used to write: "Beyond this place, there be Dragons."





I'm updating my profile, and beyond this place, there are indeed Dragons.

02:45 Dec 16 2007
Times Read: 867

from

Fifteen Painted Cards
From A Vampire

Tarot
by Neil Gaiman

"We're you," she said.
"We're you, with all

your fuck-ups
and all the things that make you human --
all your fears
and loneliness
and confusion...
none of that gets better.



"It's like getting famous,
or getting rich.
You're the same person
you were
when you were unknown
or poor.
Only worse.
All the bad things are magnified,
and you don't

remember
where the good things are
anymore.



"It's all that.
But
it's more.



We're colder than you are.



Deader.



I miss daylight
and food
and knowing
how it feels to touch someone
and care.



I remember life, and meeting people
as people
and not just as things
to feed on
or control,
and I remember what it was
to feel something,
anything,
happy
or sad
or anything..."

Then she stopped,
and lowered her head.

"Are you crying?" I asked.



"We don't cry,"
she told me.

Like I said,
the woman was a liar.

23:53 Dec 15 2007
Times Read: 873

Boohoo didn't win it =(

*cries*

23:13 Dec 15 2007
Times Read: 874

Today I joined the ranks of Ebayers and placed my first ever bid.



On a set of 14 V:tM books for $30 U.S. Plus shipping.



40 minutes to go!!!



Damn... 14 books... which are normally like $60 each new... *whistles*



Now if only that bastard would stop outbidding me... *shakes fist*...

Incurable Romantic
07:40 Dec 15 2007
Times Read: 880

I freely admit to the fact that I am an incurable romantic.



I believe love will always find a way. I believe all you need is love. I believe love makes the world go round. I believe love will conquer all.



It's never worked for me, but I still believe it.



I have a friend, Jesse, who I've written about before, whom I love. As a very close friend.



Jesse has a love, who's twice his age. Jesse has never been so happy in his life, as what he has been with this woman. She has children. Her children have objected to this union due to Jesse's age.



So she's called it off. Despite their love, despite the fact that they both know there is no one else for each other.



She's scared. So she's running away. Leaving behind a very hurt, very confused man.



Jesse is telling me what's happening, and I know, I know exactly how he's feeling, because I've been there, except it was the other way around. I was the older woman, and the younger man I was in love with ran away due to our age difference.



So I'm sitting here crying because it's brought everything up to a head. I wish I could make it all better for Jesse. I wish I could go to his love and say to her, stop it! Stop denying what you feel! You will never, NEVER, feel this way again! Don't throw it away! Don't lose it all, like I had to lose it...



When I joined this site, it was because of what happened with the boy that I loved. Over 6 months later and it still hasn't really changed. I am so incredibly jealous of this woman, who has someone fantastic like Jesse loving her, and doing anything for her, and she's rejecting it all...



I'm so incredibly scared that no one will ever feel that way about me =(































One of my most favourite movies ever is The Princess Bride. Here's a line from it which I think is quite apt to this situation.







[Scene: Pit of Despair. Humperdinck is over Westley]



Humperdinck: You truly love each other, and so you might have been truly happy. Not one couple in a century has that chance, no matter what the storybooks say. So I think no man in a century will suffer as greatly as you will.

Kids these days.
22:50 Dec 14 2007
Times Read: 884

I swear to god, if I wanted to still be in high school I would have stayed a teenager.



>.>



(I hated highschool, btw. Absolutely loathed it.)



WTF is it with the culture of instant gratification??? I want it all, and I want it NOW!!! There is no such thing as patience any more. Maybe it's because I'm primarily dealing with Americans, and (forgive me my American friends) instant gratification is one of the great American dreams.



You all need a shot of good old Australian stoicism. The Australian mantra is she'll be right, mate. It may smack of apathy but what it means is that, despite fires, floods, droughts, cyclones, bad governments, and idiots, the great country, the basis of all that we hold, will remain. It will not change. We are transient upon it. It is the land to which we belong, and to which we return. The land endures. We do not. So what exactly is the point of your instant gratification? Five minutes later you'll have another thing you want so desperately anyway...



OMG what philosophisms for early on a Saturday morning when I'm slightly hung over! Lol.

13:47 Dec 14 2007
Times Read: 887

So work Christmas party tonight. After which I'm in here working off my drunk. I'm not entirely sure what that says about me...



Tomorrow morning I'm going out to meet a dear friend who's returning to the country after living overseas for about 18 months. It will be so good to see him again! Chatting on MSN just isn't the same.



Sunday I have a game of Vampire on which I haven't prepared for >.> I know the gist, just not the particulars. Oh well. It'll work itself out.



Also, something I have learnt tonight, is, write! Write what you feel! Write what is in here *taps heart* not necessarily in here *taps head*. If you have love, show it. If you have faith, show it. Otherwise, no one will ever know...

20:49 Dec 13 2007
Times Read: 892

why the fuck do i let the shit that happens in this site affect me irl???





blah.

12:04 Dec 13 2007
Times Read: 898

angry. no words right now.























about ready to walk. i don't need this shit.

11:04 Dec 13 2007
Times Read: 900

ik vroeg nooit om dit. ik wilde enkel pret hebben ik geen dictator ben, ben ik een uitlopers geen eris goedkeur onenigheid maar ik houd van de waanzin een weinig aan te moedigen. ik denk ik van de rit wil nu worden.

21:20 Dec 11 2007
Times Read: 902

Ever get the feeling, that the forum has exhausted the possibility of input of new ideas???

09:08 Dec 11 2007
Times Read: 906

Ya know, every so often life without the dramas would be nice.



If it's not one thing, it's another.



If work's behaving, then it's home. If home's going good, then it's the net. If the net is ok, then it's relationships (or the lack thereof).



Just once, I think I'd like to experience maybe a month of NO DRAMAS WHATSOEVER!!!



Of course then I'd probably die of boredom...



Plus there's that rescue complex I seem to have... hmm.

Friends
12:05 Dec 10 2007
Times Read: 911

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.



Henri Nouwen

Gratitude
11:02 Dec 09 2007
Times Read: 919

Home

Here is a song
from the wrong side of town
where I'm bound
to the ground
by the loneliest sound
that pounds from within
and is pinning me down



Here is a page
from the emptiest stage
a cage or the heaviest cross ever made
a gauge of the deadliest trap ever laid



And I thank you
for bringing me here
for showing me home
for singing these tears
finally I've found
that I belong here



The heat and the sickliest
sweet smelling sheets
that cling to the backs of my knees
and my feet
I'm drowning in time
to a desperate beat



And I thank you
for bringing me here
for showing me home
for singing these tears
finally I've found
that I belong



Feels like home
I should have known
from my first breath

God send the only true friend
I call mine
pretend that I'll make amends
the next time
befriend the glorious end of the line



And I thank you
for bringing me here
for showing me home
for singing these tears
finally I've found
that I belong here.

1-900-nerd girl
01:12 Dec 08 2007
Times Read: 923

Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!



1-900-NERD-GIRL

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Tomorrow is a Howard-free day!!!!
22:29 Dec 07 2007
Times Read: 925

In Australia we recently had an election which got rid of one long running and much hated Prime Minister and replaced him with someone who is yet to earn our hatred. So there was much rejoicing in the streets. Here is actual footage of said rejoicing:

*disclaimer: said actual footage may actually be off a tv show.... =P

Type O, again
10:05 Dec 07 2007
Times Read: 928

...durrrr...
10:41 Dec 06 2007
Times Read: 930

Today I learnt it is not a good idea to try to clean out an encapsulated cyst in your tragus piercing... at work.



Pus + Work = Ickyness







Other crap that has happened this week:

• Mum killed my microwave >.> Thanks, mum. You're the best.



• DVD player decided it didn't want to play sounds any more. *rolls eyes*



• New DVD player which has been sitting in it's box for 6 months decides it's going to be a bastard in getting set up.



• After about a half hour of attempting to beat the technology, I get the new DVD player working. Only to find that DVD player only plays in subtitles. Subtitle button is on the remote...



• ...Which has no batteries.



• I have no chocolate, and am about to tear out someone's throat.



• Today I worked an 11 hour day. Better not happen tomorrow because tomorrow is Friday dammit!

Alright snarkiness over. I still want my chocolate though.

BTW this song is my new obsession...
10:15 Dec 05 2007
Times Read: 932


VNV Nation - Chrome



A million faces, each a million lies

for each and all a chrome disguise

prompts for action force reaction

embody promise in a sheen so pure

hurt, the measure of blind ambition

the testament to your singular disease

against all wisdom you heed no warning

your desires giving you away



If I could change your mind

i wouldn't save you from the path you wander

in desperation dreams any soul can set you free

and I still hear you scream

in every breath, in every single motion

burning innocence the fire to set you free



Your actions turn conquest to dust

in portents of fate you foolishly place trust

sense fear in your broken breathing

resort to shadows till your body expires

all creation has the promise of heaven

and still you travel the road to hell

i'm saying nothing for the good of myself

but I'm still talking and you're not listening



If I could change your mind

i wouldn't save you from the path you wander

in desperation dreams any soul can set you free

and I still hear you scream

in every breath, in every single motion

burning innocence the fire to set you free



As night descends upon the city

the streets are cold, the lights go by

and in the stories of the people

a million faces, a million lies

they'll never say they feel what you feel

that they can see the world you see

and in their faces, their expressions

a million faces, a million lies

09:58 Dec 05 2007
Times Read: 933

Feeling very meh right now.



Very hard to muster up any enthusiasm for anything.



Hate the early shift, hate the work, hate the fact that I'm so incredibly in debt right now just when I thought I was moving forward, so I have to work.



*sigh*



Also hate the fact that I feel I can't be as free in here as what I would like...

Why not try to see things from a different angle?
09:42 Dec 03 2007
Times Read: 937

Oxymoron
08:27 Dec 02 2007
Times Read: 942

Seen on a whelp profile:



"I'm emo and I'm smart..."



*raises eyebrow* isn't that a contradiction in terms???







Anyhoo.



I had a think and it's not the end of the world. I'm not so fucked as what I thought. I've been set back about six months in my planning. However I've just had a payrise from work, so that will cut that down. I'll do overtime, which will cut it down too. So I've maybe been set back 3-4 months.



I will, however, NEVER EVER EVER do that kind of thing EVER again.



*sighs*



The lessons that are most painful to learn are the ones that stick.









In other news while my warlock didn't kill anyone today, she did get a kick arse tattoo, and managed to scare quite a few people. Oh, and D&D people give good shoulder massages.

23:49 Dec 01 2007
Times Read: 945


































































































i fucked up... i think i'm gonna be sick... if this doesn't work i'm screwed...

00:08 Dec 01 2007
Times Read: 885

Once again getting victimisation from a certain Dominar we won't name... that's what, 3 forum posts deleted this morning so far? Way to go. Hope you feel better for it.



Stupid fucking site politics.